Finally lifting my personal burden,sorry

[Deedlit]

It's hard for me to write this topic,partly because I'm hot headed and right now it's difficult to calm down,after the last drop broke my patience definitely; partly because I'm going to sort very old things together with new.

The first thing I want to say is,I'm sorry if I'll end up using some strong words from time to time,I will do my best to keep this very diplomatic,because my main point here is, I DO NOT intend to flame or start flaming; I just want to speak my frustration out,over things I'm keeping locked since long.I apologize in advance and I state again,I'm not trying to start an argument or offend anyone.

I'm not going to say names,or tell stories in details,or whatever; anybody that is involved knows and anybody that is not doesn't need to know either,probably.

I just want to state that I'm definitely,surely,by all means,SICK of all the drama and the garbage behind the curtains that has been going since 3 years so far.

I honestly loved this shard at first sight;the more I played,the more I felt home.
In many occasions and through many events the feeling was strengthened.
The saddest thing is,new players will never know fully that sense of homecoming and friendly atmosphere,because what we have now,I'm sorry to say,is but a pale imitation of what was and it survives only in few people;this may even be one of those "good old times" speeches,but that's what I've personally felt so far.
The good thing about it is, despite the drama and the garbage going on,many still strive to keep that feeling,and that's the true "heart" in sylvan;but for one that strives,10 tons of garbage comes out lately.

Many don't know me,because I use to come and go and disappear for long period of times; it is true that most of those times are due to real life issues,since I had and still have many going on.But many times,it was out of frustration that I didn't came.

The first time I disappeared it was honestly because a person totally ruined my game,in every sneaky,awful,mean way possible,and did so even when I returned,time and time again; I know for sure that this person ruined the game to many others (and was overlooked many times,one thing that made me want to puke,honestly,but I don't know the reasons,so I won't say anything more),but I was first to have problems with this person and nobody cared a damn,so I felt honestly down about it.But I decided to come and play again after a time,because sylvan was yet sylvan,and mostly because I had awesome friends I wanted to play with still,which made the game worth.

Then again and again,everytime I tried to have fun,garbage came out.And again.And again.And again...

I know my nature is silly and I take at heart many things,but what can I say,it seems they don't have a "take-back" policy for brains,so I have to work with the tools I'm provided eh;I can just say,everytime I'm starting to have fun again,someone or something comes out and vomits cr*p,giving me a general sense of being let down....and of disgust.....and rage for something I still consider beautiful,and home,being ruined to ashes like this.For what?Drama?Penis length complexes over bull***ts?Lies to cover lies?Whatever.


As a result for now I left all my guilds and I'm sorry if I hadn't the patience of staying and giving explanation for it;I just feel I wanna be by myself until I calm down for real,because seriously,I am at the point I feel I can't trust my very own shadow sometimes and all my good memories are being sh****d upon.
And this is NOT EVEN SIMILAR to having fun,sorry.Not my idea of fun.

I'm not being over idealistic here: drama will always exists,half truths as well and whatever,it's normal,I'm not wishing for an utopia.But this is a load that is really going over the edge and I'm not sure if I can still tolerate it; I'm just wishing for a tiny more honesty and coherence,just that.


This topic was just to say,if you see me disappearing again,next time you will know that maybe there were/are other reasons as well.

I'm sorry if this will seem madness or inappropriate to some,but I felt like that maybe,just maybe,for once I had the right to speak my mind out after so long.I hope you will let me do that and indulge me.


And this is really all,thanks anyway and sorry.



Caly/Nayra

[Serenity]

* hugging Tight * Hun, I wish you would come talk to me. I read your post and am now sitting here in tears. I hate that you left the guild but I do understand very well what you speak of.

Sylvan is not what it use to be but it is my home and I have many great and awesome friends here and that is why I come back and why I stay. I am so sorry for you being hurt and if I can help at anytime please pm me message me something. You have been a dear friend to me and i miss you everytime you leave.

I know the drama and the pettiness just plains sucks but what can we do? I try my best to ignore it but it is hard when it is right there in your face. Sometimes we have to do what makes us happy and the ones dearest to us. I still try and do what I can for anyone in game but it comes back as a slap in the face sometimes.

I do not want you to disappear on me again Hun. If I can help or just listen please PM me or message one of my girls in game. * hugs tight again *

I am sorry once more Caly

[Rocks Silivan]

I hate to see you go again, I have so much fun when you are around . You brighten the game up so much with your unique energy. It is very healthy to let it out. It would only build up more and more if you kept it in and it needs to be heard sometimes and we need to listen. You have been one of the greatest friends I have in game and am glad for it . If you need to take a break hun, get away from it all me and everyone else will be waiting with open arms for your return. Many people may not know you well enough or seen you, but if anyone really got to know Caly like I have you'd understand how outstanding of a friend she is. * Huggies * Rocks will always be there for you.

[Admin Acacia]

I've been sitting here some time thinking.  Thinking how I might reply here, or even if I should comment.  You are right, Sylvan is not what it once was.  It is four years old now and has blossomed in to something far beyond the thoughts of the original shard development.  We have had players come and go over the years.  We've even had long past players, and even Staff, come back to us after some time away, because they felt Sylvan was worth returning to.   We have so many varied and wonderful things here that players can participate in from dungeons, to role play, to our custom pretties.

Sylvan is a family, maybe too much like a family. Families have their problems and not everyone gets along all the time, but they are still a family.   It is never good, or pleasant, when we have our differences.  Any time you have more than two people together, there is the chance of having problems. It's just a part of human nature, we don't all agree.

Caly, in all the years you have played here, I am sorry the experience has not been a good one for you.  I wish you could have talked straight out to this person, or, if there was a case of harassment, that you would have messaged me or paged other Staff to have gotten involved.  We care for you, Caly, and what makes you special.  There would be a dark spot in Sylvan without Caly's light.

I still have faith in Sylvan, and the community we have here.  I care for you all as my Young Ones.

[Abbadon]

Well good luck to whatever you wish to do, and hopefully you'll come back to us soon, and we'll welcome you back

Taken a quick break myself and it was pretty good, maybe when you come back, things will be different.

[Mina]

*hugs caly*   i hear ye hun,  Don't dissapear too long this time,  you might forget the one wee bit o fun in yer life called sylvan,  naaaahhh   that 'll never happen.  Just dont dissapear,  we'll all miss ye too much.