An unlikely survival

[Emayecue]

In a time of strife and hardship, there was a single man named Bemis, and his beloved wife Lemia whom had access to outstanding amount of wealth. Determined to have a pleasant and peaceful live for their friends and relatives established a small kingdom, in the southern side of Sosaria. Perhaps was it for personal purposes and he simply wanted to be his own ruler, or perhaps it was for compassion and love of his comrades.

There once was a great castle, decorated with tact and precaution, where economy flourished, travelers came from across the land to visit their lands and do trades. They had a small quantity of good quality guards ensuring their protection from evil creatures roaming the land, and particularly from a certain group of brigands who often attempted to murder and steal from any caravan passing by. As the year went, measure had to be increased since the group of brigand doubled their efforts.

A small army was gathered. It used most of the guards from the castle along with a handful of volunteers who wanted to put an end to this. As they tracked down on their target, an immense battle followed. Many died, from both side, a blood shed to be forgotten it was. Unfortunately, due to an informant from inside the walls of the castle, the brigand were quite aware they were gonna be attacked, and thus was their wish. Making an alliance with a group of angry and blood thirsty orcs, they had a second group lead a raid against Bemis and his soldiers that were left in the castle.

What a horrible timing, was the only thing Bemis could think of, unaware that he has been betrayed by an unknown subject. Their defense was now thin, the orcs heavily outnumbered the whole population, mainly consisting of woman, children and merchant. The screams were loud, and never ending, one after an other, you would hear a small child cry for his mommy, only to hear the sound of axes waving around... It was unbearable...

Bemis went back to his room in the castle, warned his wife to protect their young daughter with her life and try to escape as soon as she has a chance, while he grabbed his sword and shield, ready to go in and protect his people. As he turned toward the door and opened it, a horde of orcs were awaiting for him. He swung his sword the best he could, without landing it, yet finding his body perforated from multiple weapons.

Lemia, terrified manage to grab a hold of her little girl and run toward the back door. Only a few inch away from the exit, an arrow pierced her heart and fell on the floor, leaving her daughter wide opened for the orcs to feast. As they approached the little girl, in an unexplainable circumstances a loud noise of magic and sorcery filled the room, having a cloaked figure grabbing a hold of the little, to simply vanish in the same way seconds later.

The cloaked figure was nothing more, than the maid from the castle, having some basic skills of magery, she managed to take the little girl away from certain death. Being so young the little girl who was unable to talk yet had very little idea of what had just happened, all she know is that she was with a familiar face, which means that things should be alright.

As they walked away, from a burning castle and decimated population, the maid had several tears flowing down her cheeks, she walked, and walked, and walked endlessly, trying to find a safe place for her king's daughter. Somewhere in the middle of yew forest, an inevitable strike of fate, had her suffer from a severe heart attack... Falling on the ground, leaving the child rolling over on the ground, as she took a last look at her, hearing wolves howling, and bears growling...

To this day, little is known about what happened to her, nor does anyone really know of her existence...

[I am new with this, I need critics and comments, this is basically a part of a back-story for one of my character. I would really appreciate if people would tell me what they think, what I've done wrong, am I writing in an okay manner, is there something that does not make sense, is it too cheesy, or anything really. I definitely need feedback to make sure if I will be on the right track with this or not, thanks in advance]

[Festus]

A good back story.  Its not so long that i got boored and was interesting because the story moved along quickly.  Keep an eye on some words missing and punctuation.  You did a great job in my opinon.

By the way, my spelling sucks.  Im sure there is at least a couple issues with this very short post.

[Emayecue]

Thanks for the feedback I know I have a tendency to "think" words that I want to write, but end up forgetting to type them in. I did not proof read it, so perhaps I could have fixed some things, but also english is merely a second language for me

But I appreciate the feedback very much, thanks!